I decided it was time to lay down some ground rules for my journal, not to mention lay down some faq about said journal. The first thing to do is to lay down some ground rules.

RULES

1. No Flaming ~ There is a major difference between critiquing someones work and flaming them. I do not put up with telling fanfic writers to go and die. Actually, I don't put up with people telling them they should never write again either. (And to note, there is a major difference between telling a fanfic writer they should hold off posting, or telling a twelve year old they don't belong on the site due to laws and internet safety issues.)

2. Do Not Post Links to the Sporked Fic ~ If I myself do not post a link to the sporked fic, then don't post a link yourself. You can post links to other things, but not said sporked fanfic.

3. Do Not Post a Link in a Review or a PM ~ I don't mind fanfic writers finding their spork on their own, or through someone they actually personally know and discussing their fanfic, even looking for ways to improve. However, some Suethor's are not ready to address the fact they are badfic writers, or even ready to have a good laugh at themselves. Maybe some day they will be. Respect this.

4. Respect Everyone ~ I won't put up with people not respecting other people. This means no racist comments for one thing. We're here to enjoy a badfic and a Mary Sue, not to make fun of people too.

FAQS

Why do I do this? ~

While I like a well written fanfic, I also like a candy read of a badfic. I enjoy analysis and looking at things from an analytical point of view. Writing a badfic is not a bad thing either. On one side, it is the starting place for every single writer, on the other, some people write some badfic just for the fun of it. It is always good to have a candy read.

The Harry Potter fandom happens to have quite a few Mary Sues and badfics known for it, like The Eliza Trilogy, of which I've enjoyed reading the first half of the first three fics for the series. And then, we hav e ones like My Immortal, which is notorious in the history of the fandom, among some others.

But other fandoms, like Bleach don't have a record of said fanfics, either to simply enjoy, or to in fact learn from. Some of these fanfic writers never learn, but others eventually do and they decide to delete said fanfics from the site of others, so that they will be forgotten. Or, in some cases, due to breaking site rules, the admins delete them. I had to find The Eliza Trilogy.

Does this break the rule about respect?

There are some people on the net who hold a belief along these lines. If someone posted their work to the net simply because they want other people to enjoy. If they were not looking for criticism, then people should not supply it. To some people, this simply applies to just spork, but to others it applies to reviews.

However, fanfiction is still a form of writing and still has standards. Just because you've posted it to the internet doesn't mean it isn't a published piece of work. To publish something means “to prepare and issue (printed or electronic matter) for distribution and sale”... free online dictionary. In other words, money does not need be involved, nor does it being printed.

It doesn't matter if you are a famous author like Meyer, or you are some unknown person simply posting fic to the net. Once you've posted to the internet, nothing dis-includes you from the critique one gets on the site. Age also doesn't work due to the fact that if you are mature enough to be perusing the net, surely you are also mature enough to handle someone pointing out your faults. You won't grow otherwise.

The Spork...

Mary Sue Critique: This consists of both Mary Sue fanfics and badfic that I am choosing to analyze on the problems that lie within and that I also happen to ask why a Suethor does the things that they do. These are newer Mary Sue fanfics and I will not be providing links to them because of this. I won't be quoting every single part of the fanfic. That just isn't my stule

Mary Sue Classic: These are Mary Sues that are well known and also happen to be old. I will be providing links to these Mary Sues due to the fact that it has been so long since they were written. Again, I won't be quoting every single part of the fanfic.

Mary Sue Memories: These are simply memories pulled out of my memory banks. Some will have links, some will not. Actually, one of them I am looking for a link for as I can't find it anymore.

Rabid Quotes: Twihards can leave some very interesting comments that are interesting to spork the logic on. But they aren't the only ones. I am trying to find stuff other then just Twihard quotes.

There are certain things that indicate that a person probably has a Mary Sue or writes Mary Sues. The more you have, the higher the chance is. I'm going to say I've come to the conclusion that not all fanfiction wikis are bad now that I've actually found a few pages that weren't MS/GS, but there is an honest reason why there are two for Bleach.

1. Their OC is posted to a Fanfiction Wiki.

2. Their OC has their own Fanclub.

3. The only reason for an OC to exist is to be in a romantic relationship with someone.

4. The character is a self-insert of one shape or form, it is the writer, the opposite of the writer, who the writer wishes to be, or getting what the writer wants.

5. The person has taken a ton of Mary Sue tests.

6. The writer says that they hate Mary Sues.

7. The writer goes around claiming certain characters are Mary Sues.

8. The person only writes OC fanfic.

9. Their fanfics are all about one OC.

10. When they talk about Mary Sues they obviously don't know what it is.

I've had all ten of these happen to me recently with various fanfic writers I've found on the net. Some are more severe then others.

I am now starting into my spork of Truth or Dare: Wizard Style. I've tried sporking a ToD before and that didn't go as well as I thought. This though, seems to actually have more substance. Unfortunately, this is also a fanfic that is going to be hard for me to get through. I honestly think I've tried doing the first chapter before.

...

Nikki sighed.

Who is Nikki? Nikki is actually a really good friend of Br0wn3yedGirl and just so happens to have an account on the site, but I can't rightly remember what the account is.

Her and her friend Danielle were sitting in the Great Hall, alone and bored out of their minds.

And Danielle is in fact Br0wn3yedGirl herself. The main reason RPF isn't allowed on the site is to protect famous people from being slandered. However, this also can in effect prevent a deluge of self-inserts that are as blatant as this from being posted to the site.

Everyone else had left, even the teachers.

Sorry, but no. The only reason the Great Hall would be empty is because it is past curfew or because all the students are in class. The Great Hall would be way to good of a place to study during free time. This honestly doesn't make Nikki or Danielle look good. Then again... believe me when I say, these two are going to be horribly obnoxious through the entire fanfic.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Nikki cried out into the silence, "I NEED SOME ENTERTAINMENT!"

And this is how the whole truth and dare thing gets started. They get into an argument about who should start first. Danielle even forgets who is the oldest and the youngest and changes the rules so that she can do the dare first. She is, by the way, the oldest. And here is her dare for Nikki.

"I dare you to act like a lovesick fool to whoever comes into the room first," she said.

I've seen a lot of fanfics dealing with Truth and Dare. All of them play the horribly immature version of Truth and Dare where anything goes. This by the way, is the way the game is SUPPOSED to be played. You are SUPPOSED to respect the other players.

Nikki gulped and nodded as someone walked into the Great Hall: It was Draco Malfoy.

I bet Nikki actually has a major crush on Draco Malfoy. Or I should say Tom Felton.

"Hey, mudbloods," he sneered, "Clear out, this is my turf."

I am going to remember the fact they are Mudbloods in this story later on. It might be important. That said, I don't see Malfoy claiming any area as his turf, particularly one that receives such high traffic as the Great Hall. Of course, Nikki doesn't want to go through with the dare, but Danielle insists. Here is where the real rules for Truth and Dare, the ones that are meant to protect the players come into play. This is a “personal boundaries” issue. Well, Danielle continues and we get this horrible line.

"Holy Cupid," she said, batting her eyelashes, "Who's the sexy beast?"

Well, Nikki then goes and begins to invade Draco's personal boundary by touching him. There is quite a bit of purple prose when she does this. Well, she then takes it further and does this.

Nikki pulled Draco down next to her and tied him to his chair with spello- tape.

This is supposed to be a humor fanfic. However, I am not laughing at what is going on in the fanfic, I am laughing how implausible this entire scenario is.

"Hey!" said Draco trying to move, but the spello-tape was too sticky, "You can't do that!"

He's actually right. Nikki would in real life end up in serious legal trouble for pulling this stunt and the Malfoy family wouldn't hesitate to bring it down upon her head. There is also a major difference between being able to do something, and something you actually should be doing. Well, it is Nikki's turn to ask a dare, and she turns on Drakie. That is what she calls him. She tells him he has no choice but to take the ToD because there is nothing he can do.

A/N So, what would you like to see Ferretboy do? Review and tell me your ideas. I'll pick the one I like best and use it as Draco's dare. If your idea is chosen I will also put you in the chapter! So review and lemme know your ideas, please!

I think after I finish sporking this fanfic, I'll post some of the dares in the reviews, particularly since this is in truth a reportable fanfic.

Index -

Chapter Two – Draco's Dare